Sunday January 21, 2007



After last night's mini-attack, I felt like something that you might've scraped from the bottom of your shoe.

I still had to get up and run a ton of errands this morning. Amanda couldn't do it as she still can't walk well enough. First I had to go get groceries. I actually wound up having to stop for awhile and re-orient myself. After that, we had to clean out a certain crabitat.

By then, I was feeling out of it again but I didn't want to cancel on the guys so the show went on. We decided to put more work into the songs that we haven't been focusing on. We started out with "Tonight Never Happened." It actually came together pretty nicely. We also worked up "the secret song". Actually, the reason it's "secret" is because we have no proper demo of it. It's the epic track that will close the album. Piano is the main instrument. We need to find a pianist (snicker, snicker) who can fill out a massive Beatles / Queen-type track. For those of you who saw Q-Sign near the end, you might remember the song. It was the centerpiece of our latter day shows. It's called "Something Unseen" and it's one of my favorite songs that I've ever written. I believe it'll make a great ending track if we can get that piano player lined up. Are you out there? We're looking for you.

Speaking of the record, there's a good chance that neither "Scared Of Myself" nor "If You Try To Make Me Choose (You Lose)" will make the album. They got the numbers but after some thinking, we're currently feeling that

a) "Scared Of Myself" already has a solid recording and would only slow down the running order if we redid it. Not to mention, if we included "Scared...", it would probably mean excluding "Tonight Never Happened" and I think "Tonight" fits this product better.


b) "If You Try To Make Me Choose" isn't coming together as a "band" song. It feels forced when we do it. It's one of my personal favorites but I can't say the same for the other guys. On top of that, the band version doesn't do much for me (not that there really is one yet). I may release it as a "solo single" or something. We'll see.

Here's the tentative order:

Side A

1. The Only Way
2. Give Up Town
3. Waiting For The Siren
4. Sadder Day
5. Tonight Never Happened

Side 1

6. Happy Here & now
7. Worms On The Pavement
8. Wide Bicycle
9. An Uncertain Flight
10. Something Unseen

Surely, changes will come but that's the plan at the moment.

I finally got a chance to talk to my Mom in the evening. I wanted to let her know how I've been and check up on her. It's been a while now. It was a nice chat. Hopefully, we can have 'em more often than we have lately.




Saturday January 20, 2007

I didn't feel much like doing real work today. So I fixed up some bootlegs that weren't cutting it in the form they were in. The big miracle was the salvaging of Fleetwood Mac's Mirage Tour video. It's cool, the version I have has not only the performances that were once released in America (but now long out of print) but it has the different ones that were only released in South America. I wound up having to dump it from files to a DVD to a Hi-8 tape back into files, then I had to recode and re-author it but I eventually got it. At least I know that trick works now.

In the late afternoon, Joe, Frank and I got together. We worked mostly on "Worms" and "Happy Here & Now", then we dug deeper into "Sadder Day" and "An Uncertain Flight".

Oh, by the way - I've been in touch with the band's prospective business partner. It looks like things are falling in line more or less on schedule.

I haven't been able to find Mike, though. So the dilemma of who to track on drums becomes more pronounced...

Amanda and I spent the rare Saturday night with nothing that either of us had to do. We wound up ordering in a pizza and gorging. We had a nice evening. After crashing, I woke up with another attack of vertigo (although not nearly as bad as the devastating 12/28 one). Since I'm so weakened, it sent me into a pretty serious tachychardia attack, too. It was touch and go and semi-dangerous for a little while. I swallowed some Antivert and a potassium pill and after a while, I got it together enough to sleep.

I'm learning to manage...



Friday January 19, 2007



I'm working like a crazy man now.

I'm getting old pics tidied up and trying to get this diary in line. For those of you who've wondered out loud to me, the answer is no, I don't remember all this stuff in such detail. In fact, I take notes and draw out a sketch of each day. Then I go in and fill it out later. So that's how this diary works.

In the evening, Amanda and I dug into the bootlegs. First she chose a Black Sabbath show from 1970. It suitably rocked. It was funny in a way. You know how it usually is when a performer says "Here's one of our new songs" and everyone heads to the bathrooms? Well, on this one it was like, "Here's a new song" followed by something like "Iron Man" or "War Pigs" or "Fairies Wear Boots" which all became classics. I also forgot how much I love the song "Behind The Wall Of Sleep." ROCK!

In a total reversal of the sexes after Amanda chose Sabbath, I chose to watch Duran Duran's performance on MTV from New Year's Eve 1982 / 83. Talent wise, those guys are so very, very underrated. Sure, John Taylor overplays but he does it nicely. And everything that the other guys did was vital, too. Amanda and I had a discussion over who was the least talented guy in Duran Duran. Is it keyboard player Nick or singer Simon? I call it a draw. Without those simple sounds Nick created, it wouldn't have been as singular. Ditto with Simon's yelps and obtuse lyrics. It all just worked. By the way, Roger and Andy Taylor rock too!



Thursday January 18, 2007





There's not much to add today. I'm working on the usual. We decided to postpone practice tonight for Saturday because, well...why not?

Since I don't have much to say today (yeah, I'm thankful, too), here are some links from my brother of videos he did when he first got his camcorder and editing system. I'm still trying to get him to work up a video with us just for fun (and I haven't forgotten about Mr. Merritt either)! Check 'em out for some tasteless fun...

The Cat Who Knew Too Much

New Fox Reality Show

Pass The Gun Around



Wednesday January 17, 2007




I'm doing more and more and more and more and more and more...

We've had rehearsal at 6:30 tonight.

If I'm telling the truth, I'm not feeling great but I got together with Frank and Joe anyway. Joe's having a hard time getting restarted (just like me). Frank, on the other hand, was as quick and ready to go as I've ever seen him. We only worked on songs (or versions) that we've never done. We started with "An Uncertain Flight". The first run through was a disaster. Then we broke it down piece by piece and before you know it, it came together better than I ever thought it would. That short instrumental bridge is currently my favorite piece of music that we have. Frank and Joe are doing counter melodies while I'm strumming simple chords. It sounds so good!

Then we hit "The Only Way." I've decided to hand the solo to Joe on that one. He's taking over on several more, too. It looks like Joe's going to be the only guitar player on "Happy Here & Now". It was very strange to sit there with a shaker, keeping time and singing while they played. It's going to be awkward for me to be only a front man on this (and "Worms On The Pavement") but self-inflicted challenges and changes are good for me usually. We also took on "Tonight Never Happened" for the first time. I gave Joe the electric lead on that too. Ditto for "Sadder Day". It'll be nice to see him in the spotlight on occasion. At the end of the practice, the two of them decided we should get back together again tomorrow! So it looks like they're motivated. It'll definitely be a different thing when we get back out there.

I'm starting to think about what to submit for the AthFest CD. I'm sure they'll reject whatever I send in anyway but it's always worth I'm gonna...again. At least it's free.

Maybe I can get Mike to do some real tracks for some of songs that didn't make the second album cut but are still really good ("Goodbye Tuesday" for instance) or maybe I can get him to do a track at home for "An Uncertain Flight" then email me the tracks which I can then add to my recordings for a unique version. I'm going to think on it some more.

Amanda and I wound up the evening with a couple of shows from our personal TV channel (DVD collection). WKRP started with the first season closing Preacher. I don't usually like to watch things over and over but man, that show's funny. Just seeing Reverend Little Ed and his sisters sing about getting the "devil in a Bulgarian headlock" amuses me to no end. I hear KRP's finally going to be officially released on DVD. Woo hoo! Maybe some other people will realize how influential it still is to this day! Amanda chose to end the day with a Family Guy. My favorite moments are when Brian reverts to his dogdom. I have no idea why but that gets me every time.

And speaking of reverting...

This is from CNN. Can you believe this guy?

"Polls show that Americans are overwhelmingly unhappy with Bush's Iraq policy. Seventy percent oppose sending more troops to Iraq, as he intends to do, according to an Associated Press-Ipsos poll last week

Bush said if a pollster asked for his opinion about Iraq, "I would be one of those that said, 'No, I don't approve of what's taking place in Iraq.'"

He said that keeping his old policies in place in the war would lead to "a slow failure," but withdrawing from Iraq, as some critics suggest, would result in an "expedited failure."

"I am frustrated with the progress," the president said. "A year ago, I felt pretty good about the situation. I felt like we were achieving our objective, which is a country that can govern, sustain, and defend itself. No question, 2006 was a lousy year for Iraq." "

All I can say is WTF? When the president doesn't even support the president's actions, what can anyone do? The most ridiculous part to me is this absurdity, "He said that keeping his old policies in place in the war would lead to "a slow failure."

Remember how often he repeated "Stay the course?" I do. Staying the course is why we're where we are now. Some of us knew that the whole time. What about the rest of you?

And look! What's this! Could there possibly be an occasional bit of good news? It looks like something bad's waning. Cancer deaths have made a major drop for the first time ever! Check it out! That's huge. Here's hoping...





Tuesday January 16, 2007








I'm moving again, baby. I'm working!

I'm trying to catch up the last month PLUS! I can't believe I've lost almost a month of my life due to these stupid things getting in the way. My Dad always told me that if you took time off, that's when things would catch you. In this case, he's been right. I don't feel like I can ever make up the time, but I'm going to try.

On the positive front, some money's starting to come in! I got a "royalty" check from ASCAP and a payment from the Atlantic City Press! Maybe I'll be bringing in something decent for the next few months. I'm still owed for 37 pics from WireImage (which should be a nice sum) and a bit from the University Of Georgia. I think there's a few others, too. We can use it, believe me! A gazillion doctor visits and a whole lotta bloating fast food ain't free.

Speaking of which, I've gained 6 pounds since I've been down. I feel like a slob. I hate exercising but I hate not being able to exercise even more. I'm looking forward to warm weather and running at the track. Just the fact that I'm looking forward again is a testament to my improvement!

I finally got in touch with the band for the first time since the latest series of setbacks. It looks like we may get together tomorrow. Frank says his life's been going well for a change. Good for him! He's one of the few who've been doing better lately.

My work has been a bit slow today. Don't it figure? When I can do it, my equipment gets problems. It seems as if my IP wound up somewhere and now someone or several someones are trying to hack me. I may not be bulletproof but I'm thankful for all of the protections I do have! I also track every person that tries to get into my system. I know where they're based and I can track 'em down if I so desire. So far, it hasn't been worth the effort but I am keeping records. So yeah - I'm running preventative measures.

I'm proud to say that I got the biggest, baddest week for this diary put up online today. From here, my ketchup is still daunting but it's much easier.

Amanda was gone in the evening and I picked up a guitar. Strangely, out came "For That I'm Glad", a delicate little love song - but not necessarily a boy/girl song (hmmmm...). It looks like an "An Uncertain Flight" may indeed have been the start of a new direction. I don't know yet but it's looking like it. Both this new song and "An Uncertain Flight" are really solo songs but I'm proud that the band is finding value in these songs and making mine into ours. I'll probably not introduce this one to the band at all. It's too soft for those big, rough, nasty Darlings.



Monday January 15, 2007




So, it's MLK day, eh? Have a good one (or whatever you're supposed to say).

Amanda's home today. She had plenty to keep her busy and so did I. I decided not to fight the medication anymore. I've been going back and forth too much. The last couple of days I've ignored the pro-biotics. I'm going to take whatever, whenever for a while. I hate the medicine and the way it makes me feel but I hate the other option even more.

I paid several bills for my Grandmother today (not with my money - don't get me wrong). I'm helping her deal with her accounts because...well, because I need to do it. Thank God Amanda's parents are being so helpful. Amanda's mom has been going over there, checking in and getting her the little things Grandma needs and wants. It makes a huge difference. Thank God for the decent people in the world!

In the evening, I sat down for the second 2 hours of the 24 season premiere that was started off last night. When the show originally came on, I was intrigued by the high concept. I got Amanda watching and what a monster I've created. She really loves that show. It's one of the few shows that we watch even if I often feel like it takes up to much of my time. It's worth it to spend the time with Amanda, though. I can't express the sense of delight she exuded when Jack Bauer bit a guy's throat open and left him nothing more than a dead, bloody mess..

It's the little things in life that touch you...

Click here for last week with Ralph, Corey Smith, re-building the Darlings and more healing...